Thursday, June 17, 2010

It's My Pregnancy and I'll Pity Party if I Want To

At 4 am, I awoke to excruciating cramps. Cramps like I've never had before.
Scratch that.
Cramps like I HAVE had the ONSET OF LABOR!!

For about two hours, I rocked, moaned and vomited my way through what seemed to be pre-term labor. I was so, so scared.

Horrible thoughts kept running through my head. How could I be going into labor? What can they do for a baby that is three months early? What if I have to go on bed rest for the next 90 - some - odd days? What if they tell me I can't eat anymore desserts until this child is born?

And just as I was beginning to think it was time to head for the hospital - for an epidural, if nothing else - the cramps stopped. Mind you I didn't feel good the rest of the day (not that I ever feel good when I'm pregnant) but I felt slightly worse than than the average awful I normally endure on a daily basis.

Needless to say, Grace missed her swim lesson and I've been laying low. Trying to rest as much as possible. (As I write this several days later, I am feeling better. Still not great. Really tired.)

While the incident in and of itself was scary and awful, it has since turned into a small pity party for myself. Why am I in that 1% of 1% of women who have such a hard time being pregnant? Why do I deal with morning sickness day and night for nine months? Why do other women glow and I'm just big and chalky? Why can't I be pregnant and function like a normal human being? Other 'moms-to-be' are playing tennis, planning 'Martha-Stewart-like-meals', sporting little 'softball-sized-bumps' under their 'non-maternity' shirt and going to work all day for God's sake...and here I am, finding it nearly impossible to shower, hit the McDonald's drive through and throw something together for dinner all in the same day.

All this and it hasn't even broken 75 degrees here yet. Imagine what I'm going to be like when it hits the high 90's in a few weeks.

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