Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Does the Vet Make You Sweat?

I had to take Lindey and Lucky to the vet yesterday for routine annual checkups and to inquire about Lindey's limp that started recently. Does taking your dogs - and your kids - to the vet make you sweat bullets? I mean there is not much more awful, am I right?

You get everyone wrangled into the car only to get to the parking lot and have to get everyone out. Of course, the dogs and the kids all want to run in a 100 different directions. Even when I give the girls the leashes, they are still running around looking like magnets repelling. Not even in the door yet, I'm already sweating and cursing. I can feel the stares and the judgment.

Once we get inside, my dogs start barking or growling at all other lifeforms. Lindey, starts coughing and gagging, because even after 10 years she still can't properly walk on a leash. Grace and Charlotte get excited seeing EVERYTHING! Sometimes there are cats needing a home. Most often, there is an ancient, blind and deaf dog whose owner looks like she might bite if my kids get within a square mile. Of course, that is the dog they want to squeeze and pet and love on...so now I am really sweating and really cursing. The judgment is thick.

Of course, the wait to see the doctor is next to forever. They are never on time - even if you are 15 minutes late - which I never am because I couldn't be late if my life depended on it.

Finally, in the exam room, the dogs are calm because they are petrified of what is to come. For some reason, this amps up Grace and Charlotte. Even when armed with snacks, iPads, toys - you name it! - they want to roll around on the ground, ask the vet 100,000 questions, stick their tongues out at each other, cry, talk loudly, call each other some horrible name like "pickle" which send the other one into ground-kicking spasms and did I mention cry?

Now I'm REALLY, REALLY sweating and the curse words are being shot like daggers through eyeball glares which seems to send Grace and Charlotte into uncontrollable hysterics. Judgment to the 10th power!

Meanwhile, the doctor is telling me that both dogs have tartar build-up and need their teeth cleaned, that Lindey has a "raging" (meaning how could I have missed it if I were a good pet owner) ear infection and also needs a thyroid and two heart medications. Oh and that weird limp she's been doing lately? There are endless possibilities of what could be causing her not to use her hind leg - most needing an X-ray and oh by the way, both dogs are due for vaccinations.


What do you do? Do you get the X-rays? Do you put your dog on medications that she needs for the rest of her life? Do you get her teeth cleaned?

You try to think through the questions, the possible solutions and the probably price tag associated with each remedy but its hard to concentrate when your kids are licking the floors where a dog probably just urinated 20 minutes ago.

Then, THEN, when you opt out of the xrays or the teeth cleaning or what have you, you are met with looks of disapproval (judgment to infinite times infinite) like you are some animal abuser because you aren't considering the laser therapy for your dog's cataracts. SO. MUCH. JUDGMENT!

Finally, FINALLY, the appointment is over but not so fast. I still have to pay (and have a mild heart attack at the charges) which requires a 45 minute wait in my favorite place - the vet waiting room amongst intimidating large dogs, cats that like to hiss and small dogs that whimper, whine and yap...and my kids. Oh my kids!

I'm telling you I'd rather be locked in a room with snakes and spiders than go to the vet with two dogs and two kids. It is THAT bad! I mean it is almost enough to never have dogs or pet...of any kind...ever.


Court can only dream!

1 comment:

Claudia said...

We never had puppies before and boy they have run up a bill in their 7 month young life. From foxtail removal in ears and paws, neutering, and a bone stuck sideways in the rear end... I would seriously get panic attacks when they started shaking their heads at all or scratching. Now I just wait and see. The last time I took Rio in he had a small abscess on his paw. I was certain a foxtail was stuck in there. At the vet they were ready to sedate him and do the whole nine yards. I insisted that the vet check before they cut it open and guess what the foxtails popped right out. I never had to make a decision about lifelong medications, x-ray probably depending on how bothersome the limp is to the dog.