Well, that was last week and we still have no coffeemaker. (Yeah, if I've seem a bit disheveled lately or a bit 'Night-of-the-Living-Deadish' - now you know why.)
Oh don't blame me! It wasn't like I hopped on the internet, researched the hell out of coffeemakers, read 100s of reviews and found the ONE machine EVERYONE seems to love at a far cheaper price than the competition, and order it the very next day only to have it arrive DEFECTIVE!!!
What?!? Are you kidding me? This calls for a letter - you know one of 'those' letters you always swear you will write when you've been wronged by some person, place or thing.
Dear Coffee Maker Manufacturers,
You CAN NOT - I repeat - CAN NOT send faulty coffee brewing equipment to the caffeinated-impaired. It is a cruel, cruel joke. Especially to those caffeinated-impaired who are 7 months pregnant and are throwing caution to the wind and giving the bird to the medical world's recommendation of 0.0002 ounces of caffeine a day. Send me a functioning machine or send nothing at all.
The Voice of the Caffeinated-Impaired
PS Yes there is a Starbucks a mile from my house so don't act like you've thought of something I haven't. I could easily caffenate myself if I wanted to but I think overreacting to your defective machine, complaining to everyone who will listen and walking around like a zombie for two weeks is a much more effective approach.