Growing Up is Hard to Do

Both girls were looking a little shaggy and since Grace meets her new teacher next week, I took both girls to the beauty parlor.

(I usually can't see myself in either girl but I can't help but see my adolescent self in this picture.)

It is hard to believe she will be gone for two mornings each week. Out in the world, making friends, learning new things and having her own experiences.

Without me.

I am very excited for her because I know she is ready. I know she will love it.

And I know she needs it. 

I also know this is the first, teensy, tiny step towards becoming an independent adult -

the end goal.

After all, we create these little humans to grow up and become thoughtful, caring big humans 

that don't need us.

Right?

That's why this whole parenting thing is so god d*nm hard.

(That and the lack of sleep and what it does to your body.)

But someday, it all ends.

 And just as with each step they are preparing for the next stage, so are we.

As they waive good bye to us with their oversized backpacks practically bigger than them on the first day of preschool, 

we are somewhere, secretly in the back of our minds

preparing for that one day.

when we waive goodbye.

and we drive home.

without them.

Thank God we have 18 years to pull ourselves together for that day.

For that moment. 

Every veteran parent I talk to says that each stage is the best. 

When they walk, it's better than when they crawl.

When they can talk, it's better than when they coo'd.

When they can wipe their own butts, it's better than...

you get the point.

I see that. I know that.

Nevertheless, I am preparing. 

Sharing the moments with them now.

So that I will be ready for the day when it all ends

knowing I did all I could, gave all I could, sacrificed all that was needed

to prepare them

to not need

me.